Day 159: An epistle from the occupation
“We bombed it really good, you got to believe us”: a burlesque
A trio of desperate liars
The first member of the desperate trio, a 79-year-old sociopath whose initial claim about the bombing of Iran was:
"This is an HISTORIC MOMENT FOR THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, ISTAEL, AND THE WORLD. IRAN MUST NOW AGREE TO END THIS WAR. THANK YOU!"
His very current “thank you” diss gave way to the following once people or meds calmed him down a bit:
"The U.S. military carried out massive precision strikes on the three key nuclear assemblies in the Iranian regime: Fordo, Natanz and Isfahan.”
Is there a possibility that he thought Fordo, Natanz and Isfahan were three members of the Fellowship of the Ring? That is quite possible but absolutely he has no idea what they are.
The second member of the desperate trio is Director of National Intelligence Tulsi Gabbard who tweeted:
“Iran's nuclear facilities have been destroyed.”
Yet despite Tulsi’s assurances the initial classified assessment of our bombing of Iran said:
“The U.S. strikes on Iranian nuclear facilities set back Tehran's nuclear program by a matter of months.”
The 86-year-old Ayatollah Khamenei’s version is equally desperate but he’s not in the trio and his ends on a hilarious high note:
“The Islamic Republic slapped America in the face. It attacked one of the important American bases in the region…The U.S. President T**** unveiled the truth and made it clear that Americans won't be satisfied with anything less than surrender...such an event will never happen…The U.S. attacked our nuclear facilities, but couldn't do any important deed...The U.S. president did abnormal showmanship and needed to do so.”
The U.S. president did even more abnormal showmanship rage-tweeting last night:
“Secretary of Defense (War!) Pete Hegseth, together with Military Representatives, will be holding a Major News Conference tomorrow morning at 8 A.M. EST at The Pentagon, in order to fight for the Dignity of our Great American Pilots. These Patriots were very upset! After 36 hours of dangerously flying through Enemy Territory, they landed, they knew the Success was LEGENDARY, and then, two days later, they started reading Fake News by CNN and The Failing New York Times.”
Apparently the pilots were “very upset “after all they knew that their “Success” was “LEGENDARY”. Does it take a stealth bomber 36 hours to fly across Iran? How about across ISTAEL?
Then today MSNBC’s take on Pete Hegseth, the final member of the desperate trio as he was trying to massage the facts at their Iran press conference:
“Pentagon’s Pete Hegseth holds weird press conference, but satisfies his audience of one.”
Among the bizarre moments in this weird press conference is a back and forth between Fox News’ chief national security correspondent, Jennifer Griffin, and a truculent Pete Hegseth:
Griffin: There were satellite photos that showed more than a dozen trucks there, two days in advance. Are you certain none of that highly enriched uranium was moved?
Hegseth: Of course we’re watching every single aspect. Jennifer, you’ve been about the worst. The one who misrepresents the most intentionally.
Griffin: I don’t think that’s fair. You have issues…”
A Brill Creamed Hegseth echoing the sociopath’s imaginary conspiracy also mentioned the military’s hurt feelings:
"There are so many aspects of what our brave men and women did and, because of the hatred of this press corps, are undermined because your people are trying to leak and spin that it wasn't successful.”
Then we got the sociopath’s take on the press conference he absolutely did not see:
"One of the greatest, most professional, and most 'confirming' News Conferences I have ever seen! The Fake News should fire everyone involved in this Witch Hunt, and apologize to our great warriors, and everyone else!"
Not certain what a “confirming” news conference is but this one wasn’t. And just how hurt were the “great warriors” feelings?
Then, in a moment that I’m sorry the late Hunter S. Thompson did not live to see the sociopath pretended to have called one of the sad pilots in Missouri:
"I spoke to one of them. He said, 'Sir, we hit the site. It was perfect. It was dead on,' because they don't understand fake news.”
He loves the military, of course not those who died:
“Why should I go to that cemetery? It’s filled with losers.”
Or who, like the late Sen. John McCain, were shot down, held as prisoners of war, and tortured:
“He's a war hero because he was captured. I like people that weren't captured, okay?”
Secretary of Defense (War!) Pete Hegseth toned down his white hot rhetoric long enough to give us:
"These pilots, these refuelers, these fighters, these air defenders, the skill and the courage it took to go into enemy territory flying 36 hours on behalf of the American people and the world to take out a nuclear program is beyond what anyone in this audience can fathom.”
It is beyond every person in that press room because they’re stupid mean people unworthy to question the trio’s version of a fantastic bombing mission. They’re all just mean, unpatriotic, traitors especially Fox News’ Jennifer Griffin.
Still I’ll take them over a drunk, a liar, and a sociopath and that’s what we have in the desperate trio manically lying about the raids.
Pretty sure the truth is we bombed Iran managing to set them back a couple of months.
As far as the sociopath he’ll forget Iran in a week, because it is what he does.